It’s dry and dead outside. The building’s windows have been boarded up and the picnic tables that line the parking lot are rotten and buried by the over grown grass. Why has my father pulled into this place? Oh yes I remember, we used to stop here on our way to Maine all the time. So many great trips up there to see Grandpa and Grandma. Wait a minute, we are on our way up there. What has happened here?

My dad slows the truck to a stop and forces the shifter into “park.” The truck bobs for a second in place and my dad clicks the key back. My hands are clenched around the top of the seat and I can only stare at the front door of this building. The truck door is forced open.  I jerk my head to the side to see what had happened. Oh, it’s only Dad. He has an unusual smile on his face as he asks me to jump out of the truck. “I’ll catch you,” says he. The door is slammed behind me. Where is my brother, Peter? He is supposed to be here with us. He always comes to Maine for Thanksgiving and hunting. My head turns back towards the truck. Where did it go? Oh I can see it, but it is atleast a mile away. We have only been walking, but for a few moments, and already I can’t see my brother.

The sidewalk in front of the building is crumbling apart and filled with sparatic patches of brown grass. There is the front door. What could Dad possible want to show me in here? The detail across the front door is more vivid than before. The door has been ripped off the hinges and resembles more of a large swinging salon door from the old west, rather than a heavy duty door of an inhabitied business establishment. “You wanna open the door for Dad?” I shake my head. My dad sighs and nudges me forward. I look back at him in worry. Is he freakin’ kidding me? I look up at the door like David looking to Goliath. I press my hand against the door peaking through the cracks of the wood. My hand slides along the length of the door as it opens. “OUCH!” I fall forward in through the door.

My hand is throbbing. A piece of old wood is sticking out from the palm of my hand. “What the?” I say as I look past my hand onto the brand new black and white tiled floor. I peer up at the room and notice that Grand Central Terminal isn’t as busy as this place. Where did all these people come from? I turn my head to find Dad. He isn’t there just a brand new green door. Dusting off my pants I stumble to my feet and scan the room. The parking lot showed no signs of life, yet, this place seems to be the talk of the town. Families eat at tables, people ordering food at the different vendors, and small children scurrying about the floor. “Dad? Dad, where are you?” Where is my father? I started shuffling through the crowd. It seemed I was starting to grab the attention of some of the people. I nod back trying not to make eye contact.

I come to the end of the vending area. No sign of Dad. Ooo, a window. My, what a beautiful day outside. All the kids playing on the picnic tables and there’s Dad’s truck right in front. Oh, There’s Dad! “Dad, Dad in here, I’m in here!” I tap on the glass. There is no response. I scream again at him again as I turn towards the crowd to see if anyone has responded to my cries of help. Oh that’s interesting. Everyone is looking at me. There is a crash on the front door. My heart pounds against my ribcage, no one else responds. I look out the window again. My father swings his sledge hammer towards the building. Bang. Bang. I look back at everyone. They are pointing back into the middle distance. What is this? I approach the crowd in search of an answer. The crowd separates and my stomach begins to turn. There it is. Laying in the middle of crowd. A young girl lay on a stretcher with her dialysis machine next to her. Her eye is black with a blood stained face. Bruises from where someone’s fist, most likely, connected with her face. Her hospital robe is three sizes to big for her. Bang. Bang. Finally we make eye contact. A tear glides down her cheek. My eyes fill with water and I begin to brace myself. The girl let’s out a soundless shriek. Her mouth, wide open, as if screaming bloody murder, emits no sound and I fall to the ground, covering my ears, as if I can actually hear her. Bang. Bang. Dad, where are you? My body is frozen and everyone remains standing above me motionless. Help me someone? Dad, save me. Bang. Bang. Crash! My dad falls through the door.

It goes black…

11 Comments

  1. I like this!

  2. This is the dreariest blog i have seen in a long time. Maybe that is the point of it.

  3. haha thanks conroy…compliment taken. I find it funny though the other day you were on the verge of “blog suicide” and now you feel as though you are capable of judging other blogs. haha. I hope you saw my two comments to you today! I like your blog a lot.

  4. Just don’t come back to my blog please, i’m not interested in trading insults with you or whatever it is you internet nerds like to do. Don’t pick apart this comment and judge every word in it or correct the spelling, or try to think up some witty come back just go away, don’t answer me, don’t read my blog, don’t comment, don’t ever have anything else to do with me. Let’s just leave it at that. Go away and try to do something constructive please. Thanks

  5. ouch…burned

    • franklin roosevelt
    • Posted August 26, 2008 at 9:19 pm
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    • Reply

    this is bad…like really…really bad…heavy topics , adjetives and the perspective you write it in are that of a high school student trying to impress his writing teacher with his mature topics.

  6. Well franklin, seems you are back to terrorize my work again. But I thank you. You’ve embarrassed yourself even more than me. Bravo.

    • franklin roosevelt
    • Posted August 28, 2008 at 11:39 am
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    • Reply

    The fact of the matter is sir, I have no idea to what you refer when you say that i am, as yo put it “back to terrorize my work again.” The only thing that is embarrassing here is the writing displayed on this page, I recently found both this site and your other site by googling the phrase “inside my head, out of this world.” I am currently living in Napa Valley CA, working on my first book and my main character needs a catch phrase, I wanted to make it something original and checked the internet for any phrase I thought i had come up with. But the phrase like writing on PARTS of this site lacks just that; originality.

  7. I guess I just find it hard to believe that a person working on their first novel would stumble upon someone’s work and completely degrade them on their work. Not even constructive criticism. A real author/artist would have given some advice on what they saw. Everything on here is a work in progress and up for people to critic. Nothing is finished. If you fancy yourself a true author/artist I really would expect something of an apology.

    • franklin roosevelt
    • Posted August 28, 2008 at 8:21 pm
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    • Reply

    As I am not yet an author I have no constructive criticism. It is one thing to write something down on a paper or a blog and call it art; but a totally other thing to be an artist/author, etc. Once I publish then I am an artist, for now I am just a girl.

  8. So by your logic, because you are not published you can not offer constructive criticism, but feel empowered to slander another person’s work until your are blue in the face? Because from where I am sitting, you don’t have the write to say a damn thing about my writing considering you are nobody, “just a girl.” Good luck getting published.


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